Windows and Ocean Waves
by Scision
Summary: There’s no point in lying Remus sees through him like a glass window. An old window, framed strongly and decorated with shrouding, dark curtains, and still works but refuses to open.. Sirius thinks about James and Lily, and it hurts. No pairing, PreSS, AU


**Disclaimer: you know the drill.  
**_Experimental piece, so… whatever. :P  
Pre SS, after James and Lily are killed, mostly AU._

_Sirius shuts off his feelings regarding his friends' deaths from Remus and the world, but he can't do that forever. Remus manages to comfort him._

* * *

**Windows and Ocean Waves**

* * *

Painted carelessly with vibrant, leaking colors of reds, pinks, and oranges is the canvas that is the sky at sunset. The smooth, dark cerulean water is interrupted only by flecks of white light that resemble tiny fireflies as gentle waves push them toward him, ending their short lives in thin froth as they break the shore. 

The sun has almost been swallowed by the ocean, but what remaining light warms Sirius's face and his skin glows gold and shadows are violet. The salty breeze weaves through his black hair. Around him are the disappearing puffs of dark smoke that waft from his lit cigarette held steady between two fingers, waiting for the right moment to put it back into his mouth for another drag.

So tranquil and so silent, yet he hears everything: the distant echoes of seabirds flying in and out sight, the sound of the ocean waves as they rush towards dry sand and crash into Sirius's toes, the dying strings of a cello ending its forlorn solo from one of the apartment buildings a few hundred or so yards behind him.

Then, a new sound; soft padding in the moist sand. The sound of the crunching grains under bare feet grow louder as it nears Sirius, until finally the source stops right beside him. Without looking, the dark haired male already knows who it is.

"Still out here, huh."

Sirius says nothing and purses his lips over the cigarette, drawing in breath as slowly as he can and exhaling even slower.

The speaker sits down with ease, and chocolate colored eyes meet Sirius's at his level. They look even sweeter, richer, in the disappearing sunlight.

"Hi, Remus." Sirius is quiet.

The other male leans back on his palms, and observes the sky now blotted with darker shades of red and magenta.

"Are you thinking about them?" he asks tentatively.

As much as he'd like to say he isn't, there's no point in lying; Remus sees through him like a glass window. An old window, framed strongly and decorated with shrouding, dark curtains, and still works but refuses to open except for those particular people who just have a knack for opening windows.

"Yeah. It feels like they've been… for years." Sirius can't even say the word.

"I know."

_What else do you know? Do you know what exactly happened? When they'll be back? Please say they will be… Oh come on, Sirius._

He imagines their faces in the wispy orange clouds. It seems like their eyes were always laughing, their smiles so full of youth and potential until one night, they weren't anymore. It was easy as the wind sending light, powerless flower petals billowing into the air, until they were whisked out of sight or stopped completely and fell down to the earth and lay motionless in the dirt. Simple.

It hurt to think of them. Sirius shakes his head and is lost at sea, staring hard at the horizon, telling it that he would not let himself be this vulnerable, he would not let himself cry, he would not cry… The warmth of Remus's hand on his shoulder brings him back to the beach.

"I'm with you on this. It's stronger to let yourself go. Open up the windows a little more."

Just like that.

"We're like ocean waves," Sirius remarks softly, getting to his feet and drops the cigarette. Remus stands as well.

"Why?"

"No matter what we do… we all just die anyway." He watches the waves fade into foam and thin out into nothing on the sand.

"Let's swim," Remus replies.

Together they walk into the shallows, letting the sun-warmed water surround their ankles, their knees, fingertips, faces.

James and Lily are the ocean, floating away with everyone else.

* * *

___Note: They do not commit suicide :P_


End file.
